Roadtrip Nation | A Single Mom's Story

>> Gabby: When you think of single mom, you just think of struggle.

>> Kiera: I dropped out of school twice, not being able to have somebody to watch my kid consistently.

>> Maliaq: I've been on repeat, make money, pay the bills, take care of the kid.

>> Gabby: If you're a single mom, other people are like, you must have done something wrong or what happened to your man or why is he gone?

>> Maliaq: I haven't had time to ask myself what would I want to do?

And it's really easy to put personal growth on hold.

>> Gabby: How do you get out of that or how do you make it may get better?

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Finally, it's real.

>> Maliaq: So I am about to take a road trip with two other single moms.

>> Kiera: Roadtrip Nation, here I am.

>> Gabby: We made it [LAUGH].

>> Maliaq: And we're gonna interview successful professionals.

>> Gabby: Strong single moms that have faced the same obstacles.

We're starting off the trip in Austin, going Albuquerque to Phoenix, to Vegas, straight to Los Angeles.

I'm feeling a little lost and I feel like maybe I'll find an answer or a door to go through on this road trip.

Cuz I feel like after all that I've been through, I kind of need to find myself.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: My name is Gabriel Hall.

I live in Hurst, Texas, and I have three daughters.

I didn't really plan to be a single mom.

I applied for food stamps and they are like you can have $40 and I'm like, I have three kids and just a single income and they are like $40 is the max we can give you and I'm like, okay.

The first thing I hear when I pick them up from school is, mom what are you making for dinner?

What are you making for dinner?

I'm like I don't know.

Let me think about it.

I need one person to peel potatoes?

Rock, paper, scissors.

>> Speaker 7: One two three, shoot.

>> Gabby: [LAUGH] We're making potato beef casserole.

It's really cheap to make, it's really easy and everybody likes it.

Especially when you're on a budget.

Okay, Kia dump this one and this one in the bowl.

You've got to dig from the bottom.

Look like this watch, watch mommy.

I think one of the hardest decisions I've had to make is working more and missing out on things.

I had to up my hours and so I wasn't being able to come to stuff, concerts or band things that you'll never get to see again.

It was really hard but my focus was making sure that they weren't going to bed hungry.

Balancing going back to school and kids, it's hard.

[LAUGH] Homework with my kids is crazy because they're laughing at me.

They're like, do you have homework, mom?

[LAUGH] And I'm like, yes, I have homework.

And they always asked me my grades, mom, what did you get and I'm like, I don't want to talk about it.

So there's a window here, a window here and a window here.

Being a single mom, I think it's really important especially since I have three girls to show them.

You can do whatever you want to do, and you don't have to struggle when you do it.

>> Maliaq: All right, ready, are you ready to push that?

Dang, there's so much more room in here.

>> Gabby: I know, right?

I wasn't expecting that.

>> Maliaq: I'm impressed.

>> Kiera: If I would have had that much space, I would've rolled all the way over into her bed.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: I'm Kiera.

My son is Jayden and he's 12, and my daughter's name is Janelle, she's 5.

What's up, Jay?

How you doing today?

>> Jayden: Good.

>> Kiera: So right now, I'm co-parenting with my kids' father.

I live in High Point, North Carolina.

And he lives in Vero Beach, Florida and the kids are down there in Florida with him right now.

What's up Nelly belly that peanut butter was jelly?

>> Janelle: Mommy, can you open this?

>> Kiera: I can't open it, baby.

I'm on video, you making me feel bad.

I wish I could open it for you.

Are you able to open it for her?

>> Jayden: Yeah.

>> Kiera: That's all right.

Now when you get back up here, I'm gonna open up everything.

Are you going to get on Call of Duty?

>> Jayden: Okay.

You can't beat me in Call of Duty, mom.

>> Kiera: I'm in.

Coparenting, I came to that decision because I was struggling.

I was struggling so bad.

I wasn't making much money.

I was getting paid 9.50 at my job.

I had plenty of times when my lights have been shut off.

Our water has been shut off.

I didn't wanna ask for help because I felt kind of like I was giving up if I was say, hey, I need some help with my kids and I have to choose either my pride or my kids' happiness.

And my kids' happiness comes first.

So I was like, they're gonna have to go so I can get right.

I still fight with it every day.

I'm like, did I do the right thing?

Did I do the right thing?

And I feel every day more and more that I'm doing the right thing but it's still hard.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: When I get off of work, it is one o'clock in the morning most of the time nobody's up.

I wanted to be so many different things growing up.

I was really good in geology, but I never followed through with it because my dad was not happy about it at all.

They were more pushing for me to go into the nursing field.

And I did that for a little bit but it came back full circle with gemstones and rocks and it's just I have a natural like attraction to them or they're attracted to me and I just wanna learn more about them.

I'm hoping to leave all the self doubt, I wanna do something that I love, that I have a passion for.

I haven't gave up, I'm not gonna give up.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: So my name is Kakfalria Maliaq Kairaiuak but I go by Maliaq.

I'm Yupik and I'm Athabaskan and we are in Wasilla, Alaska.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: I have one son, his name is Michael and he's nine.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: We try to do stuff together when we can, like hiking, I'm trying to be outside as much as possible.

I feel like it's really important for us to get out and be with nature sometimes.

And get a break from the TV and the screens.

And just take time to enjoy life a little bit.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: The hardest part about being a single mom is the pressure of feeling like if you miss out on something or you fail on something that it's gonna make your whole world crash.

I have to remind myself if I'm having a bad day, it's just one day and that it's gonna be a new one tomorrow.

I always wake up before Michael so that I can do homework.

So I'm usually up around five and then I go to work.

My single mom journey started when I was really young, I got pregnant when I was 17, and I've been a single parent ever since I had him.

I felt like at the time that school just wasn't for me.

It was too much of a time commitment is too much of a monetary commitment and I felt really guilty, so I stopped.

But the nice thing is there's so many resources now, so I decided to enroll in classes online.

I'm studying computer science, but the career aspect, I'm kinda just like this big question mark, I don't know.

Being a single mom, there's pressure when it comes to your decisions, what if I make the wrong one, and it's gonna affect my family?

And moving past those fears is something that I have a really hard time with.

This road trip is gonna be really good for me.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: Going on a trip like this, you're pushing what you're comfortable with in so many ways.

Here we go guys.

That's as sharp turn for my first one, okay.

Whether it's meeting people and talking to people and opening up or driving a giant RV that's taking over most of the road.

>> Gabby: You're doing great, you only have 2 hours and 49 minutes [LAUGH].

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Hopefully we can interview other single moms and I wanna pick their brain.

How did you do it?

And where did you get help and how did you find those resources and what am I doing wrong?

>> Kiera: Just get some wisdom from anybody because that's how you grow in life >> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Man, one of my daughter's when I was leaving and dropping them off at school Monday before I caught my flight, she was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do three weeks without you.

And I'm like that made me wanna cry.

>> Maliaq: It makes it so hard to leave.

>> Gabby: Yeah, I know.

It was really hard for me to say goodbye.

I'm trying to hold on, but let go a little bit at the same time.

>> Kiera: One thing I want my kids to see is that I took this time away because Mommy's becoming a better person.

Mom's becoming a better mom.

>> Gabby: That's locked.

>> Kiera: The first interview we do is with Maria-Theresa, she's an attorney.

Hi, I'm Kiera, nice to meet you.

>> Maria-Theresa: I'm Maria.

>> Gabby: Hi, I'm Gabby.

>> Maliaq: My name is Maliaq, I'm 28 and I'm a single mom of a nine year old.

I work full time and then I go to school online, and there's still a lot of pressure to like, get a college degree.

I feel like I'm way behind, so that's why I'm here.

>> Kiera: [LAUGH] So now that you know a little bit about us, can you tell me a little bit about you and what you do and how you got there?

>> Maria-Theresa: Sure, so my name is Maria.

I'm a single mom, I have four kids, they're all older now.

So I'm empty nesting.

I always tell people I feel like I lived my life backwards.

Because I was a teen mom so I had my first son when I was 16 years old.

My mom she asked us to get married so I got married before I had the baby.

So I got a divorce at 18, so here I am, I am 18, single mom, and divorced.

[LAUGH] I thought because I'd had my children so early and I realized I will empty nest when I'm 43, I'm not gonna be old enough to be retired.

I always had to work, so I started going to community college, and I knew that I'd wanted to go to law school, but you really second guess yourself.

>> Gabby: What's the point, I'm so old?

>> Maria-Theresa: I'm like, what's the point, I'm so old?

So I looked and I was like, I gotta do something for me.

And so I started going to school and it has taken me a long time.

I was probably going to school from the time I was 20 until the time I was 40.

Because when you're working full time, and when you're raising a family, it's just hard.

>> Maliaq: What do you do to stop yourself from being complacent?

Because it's a lot easier to just say, this is how it is, and not move forward.

>> Maria-Theresa: Right, so the day before law school started, my ex husband now said, you know what?

I'm not gonna be here, then he left that day.

[LAUGH] So my kids are like, what are you going to do now?

What's your plan mom?

When my ex husband left, I had 24 hours to decide if I was gonna go to school that first day.

It was also the first day of school for the kids.

And in that 24 hours, I was like, yeah, no, it took me a long time to get here.

I'm not giving it up now, I don't know if I'll get into law school again.

So I sat there in the middle of the night called 10 people, 15 people.

And I was like, this is how it's happening.

I don't have time for you to comfort me.

But I do need your support in I'm probably gonna need you to help me with the kids.

I'm gonna probably help you on this day.

So you need to go create your support system.

You need to tell them like heads up, I'm gonna need help.

This is my plan and I learned more and more people want to help you.

It's the highest flattery you can give someone to give them the opportunity to help you.

If they didn't want to help you, they won't help you.

>> Gabby: What's one piece of advice you'd like to leave?

>> Maria-Theresa: You can have a plan, right?

You can even have the plan a, b, c, d, the fail safes and you rewrite it and you're constantly rewriting and adjusting, right?

You're adjusting that map like okay, there's the detour.

You're still their role model, right?

>> Gabby: Right.

>> Maria-Theresa: And the fact that your children are usually stronger for that.

When they talk about their success stories or where they paths in life, they usually like to insert in there, I was raised by a single mom.

Single moms, we are resilient.

And I'm so proud to be a part of that community.

I'm so proud to have that label, be that woman who you in your boldest moments, thought you could be, be that one, be that woman >> Gabby: Leave us with your wisdom.

>> Maliaq: She really decided what she was gonna do and she like took it really seriously and it's making me realize I don't have to feel I can only do online college.

>> Gabby: Seeing her meet her goals and taking so long to achieve them.

It really kind of hit me along with the fact that she's been married and divorced, to see her doing that.

I feel like I can still do this.

I still have plenty of time.

>> Maria-Theresa: Okay, often the goal line seems so far and the journey to at a slow crawl, but you have to want your goals enough to endure the hardest parts of your journey to them.

>> Gabby: I'm kind of like trapped at my job, cuz you can't go very far without a degree.

I'm going back to school because the degree is important and I can be a better mom and guide them better on the path that they're going.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: Being out on the road for this long.

It just gives me more time to think, it's a breath of fresh air right now cuz I kinda need that before life kicks back in again.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: I never imagined myself being in a basket in the sky.

I think the face I'm making is the same face I made once we lifted up out of the air.

>> Gabby: I'm glad told my kids I was gonna do it before I did it because then I couldn't have backed out because they were like take pictures take video.

I can see my fear in life is kind of rubbing off on my middle child like I can see her not taking risk or trying new things and I feel like I started to come out of that, but she hasn't and I'm trying to encourage her and show her by demonstration.

Not just you should try that but I'm gonna try it.

>> Maliaq: I like it up here.

Everyone was like honking at us, all the kids are running out to wave at us.

The dogs were all barking at us.

You could see the city in a whole new way.

It was just a really fun experience.

>> Gabby: I was so scared I could barely [INAUDIBLE].

>> Kiera: Awesome.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: I didn't wanna do it, I almost backed out.

But I don't know who said it, do one thing every day that scares you.

And I was like, okay, this is gonna be it.

>> Maliaq: This is it for the week.

>> Gabby: I already told my kids I was doing it.

I have to do it.

I'm glad I did it though.

>> [SOUND] >> Kiera: Breakfast time!

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: The first thing I'm gonna do when I get home is hug Michael and then take a shower in my own shower, not an RV park shower.

[LAUGH] >> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: We cook a lot of stuff from scratch.

My mom, she makes the best fry bread.

This is something that you'd see at pretty much any potluck, or potlatch, or powwow.

Yeah, it's pretty common.

I'm making a salmon dip with cream cheese.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: I don't know what's making me more nervous that my mom is sitting there or that you guys are filming me.

My mom was a single mom, she always made sure we knew where we came from.

My family really instilled a love of my Alaska Native heritage and culture.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: My family's really traditional in the sense that everyone's involved in raising the children.

So, even though I don't co-parent with his dad like I co-parent with my mom.

>> Mom: It's good, Maliaq.

>> Maliaq: Thanks for making the bread, mom.

My goals with school are to just finish really.

I struggle with online school.

The key is trying to figure out when you can make time to do things uninterrupted and this trip kind of had me thinking like why can't I go to a university?

Like, why do I have to go to an online college?

That's like an option that's kind of always been there, but I've always kinda written it off.

Cuz I have to work, and I have to do this, and I have all these bills.

And the only way it's really gonna happen is if I am able to find a better career path.

It would be really awesome to see like a fellow indigenous woman really living out an authentic career life.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: [CROSSTALK].

>> Maliaq: I'm Maliaq.

So I had been really excited to meet Amy Yeung.

>> Amy: My name is Amy Yeung, and I'm a single mom, I'm an empty nester mom.

I've had 35 years experience within the fashion industry.

I think it was maybe when Lily was probably first grade.

I was trying to teach her how to be a sustainable, conscious kid.

And at the same time, I was designing for big fast fashion corporations.

It was a big change in the way I thought when I had a child when I thought my gosh, I'm putting microplastics into the water.

I'm putting toxic chemicals into the clothes for dying.

I just felt like to be true to myself.

I had to shift that, so I actually jumped ship, left my corporate job, and started a sustainable consulting company eventually moving back to New Mexico.

I know that you're also Native.

I've actually like reconnected with my ancestral lands.

As soon as I moved here to New Mexico.

I felt like I'm home.

It's allowed me to immerse myself in my Native culture which I never had the experience of doing.

>> Maliaq: Alaska Natives and Native Americans like they're both indigenous cultures and I feel like we're very misunderstood.

You hear like this the negative experiences that they're going through.

So how do you share like the strong sense of community and love?

>> Amy: It's really easy for me because I work mostly with the creatives.

So it's a place of connectivity.

I have a store in Albuquerque.

I love vintage fashion.

I've been collecting textiles my whole life.

And a Orenda Tribe was really the passion my daughter and I had of taking trips together, shopping for vintage wherever we went, collecting old things and we both eventually just stopped buying new stuff.

Now, I just only work with things that are already here on the Earth.

I use salvaged fabrics.

We do a lot of indigenous native made product.

I have a whole team of moms that do my sewing, I only work with family dyers or small batch dyers.

I shifted from like poshy job in a corporate situation into something where I was doing things that inspired me that I truly loved.

But I shifted that for my child.

>> Gabby: It kind of sounds like you're two different people like before you had a kid, you're one person and then after you had a kid, it changed you dramatically.

>> Amy: I think my DNA changed [LAUGH].

Before that, I was a totally self absorbed fashion crazy person.

I look back at who that person was.

I don't know who she is.

When I had my daughter, it totally shifted the way I thought about my career.

I think the single mom, it's definitely has its challenges.

But the reality of that is that you get to know your kid better than anybody else.

And you get to spend the most amazing amount of quality time with your children.

>> Maliaq: So when you decided to make the change in your career to go off on your own, what type of like hesitations did you experience?

And how did you decide that was like the best thing for you and your daughter, right?

>> Amy: So I think with any big jump like that, where it's a major change, you kind of go in your head and think of all the reasons why it wouldn't work.

What if I can't make enough money to pay my rent?

What if it doesn't work?

It's like thinking scarcity.

But you have to flip that because if it's something you're really passionate about.

And something that your heart is in completely, you have to think abundance.

You have to think all the things that could happen, right?

Everything else falls into place, it truly does.

Talk to yourself, think about what you wanna do with your life.

And by eliminating all the noise and the chaos we have day to day, you'll receive some answers.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: I really loved that she was so passionate about the things that she worked on and she was proud of her daughter and she really loved being a mom.

>> Kiera: Amy Yeung, I love her swag, that lady has swag.

She has some major swag.

>> Maliaq: My mom, she was so proud that this is someone that we're gonna interview she got like all excited.

I was like, my mom would just really love to meet you [LAUGH].

And so I asked her if we could FaceTime her.

>> Amy: I wanted to call it to tell you how special your daughter is.

I'm here in Albuquerque, so your daughter got to like kind of see everything.

I think she may be coming to New Mexico more often [LAUGH] >> Maliaq: And it was so cute because my mom, like her face.

She kind of like flushed a little.

And like it was really cool to see them like engage in like a conversation too.

Okay, Mom, I just wanted you to be able to say hi and meet her too.

>> Mom: Thank you so much for spending time on video.

>> Amy: My gosh, my pleasure.

You have such a special daughter.

>> Mom: Bye bye.

>> Maliaq: Bye.

>> [MUSIC] >> Amy: Refocus on abundance, not scarcity.

Stay true to what you are truly passionate about and lean in hard to things that you fear.

Crush it ladies [LAUGH] Crush it.

Love and Light Amy aka Orenda Tribe.

So I'm wishing you guys a really safe journey and just a amazing future for you and your kids.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: These are crystals.

I've never been to the White Sands mine I never even heard of it before.

Like we're going to some white sands, what special about white sand?

But basically the white sand comes from the gypsum that's been in mountains breaking down.

And it's so quiet, it's so serene, like you can't hear nothing but your thoughts.

>> [SOUND] >> Gabby: I live kind of in the city, so it never gets that quiet, and just to hear nothing, no talking, no traffic, no city.

It was really nice, I wanted to bottle it up.

I was trying not to think about my kids too much because I wanted to cry.

But I really wanna take them back there to enjoy it because I don't like doing things without them.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Being with Kiera and Maliaq, they've helped me keep my mind off of things, so that's really nice.

And I know that they're going through the same thing that I am.

So they're making it a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: This trip, there's a little bit of a guilty feeling because you get to see all these cool things and like do these activities and meet these people.

On paper it's really hard not to feel like it's just for fun or primarily for myself.

But when Michael's older and he's able to understand what a significant journey this is going to be for me.

I think or at least I hope it's going to be inspiring for him.

But it's also a little terrifying because you don't really know who you are outside of being a mom sometimes.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: This does not look real.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: I was sitting there, I'm like, all I hear is me.

And it gave me a second to kind of like sort out all those thoughts.

Being on the road and thinking about my kids, thinking about what I'm gonna do once I get off the road.

>> Maliaq: It was a time where I really just got to take everything in and be like, this is real.

It made me like so excited for the rest of the trip.

>> Kiera: That was super duper fun.

>> Gabby: I know, this was like a perfect ending to the day.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: So we're about halfway through the trip now.

>> Gabby: Albuquerque to Phoenix, the drive was beautiful, really pretty >> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: Hanging out with Maliaq, have lots of talks, I learned a lot about her culture.

She's learning a lot about me.

Mama Gabs, she keeps me and Maliaq in check.

She's a lady and not many words like, it seems like she's always thinking.

>> Gabby: I miss my kids.

You know, I can't wait to share everything with them and tell them.

You should check out some of these women that are doing these great things.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: My kids to see them start a group chat counting down when I come home is like, it really means something.

>> [MUSIC] [LAUGH] >> Gabby: I decided to go back to school because I'm kind of like trapped at my job,I can't go any further.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Currently I work at Walgreens as a senior pharmacy technician.

I've worked there since my oldest was 3 months old.

I applied there, I came in with, I'm sure with bags under my eyes and whatever I could fit into.

Because I just had a baby which was like a sweatshirt and jeans and I'm like, I need a job.

I've been there for a while and I love the people that I work with.

But I wanna take another step somewhere else.

So from 4 to 5, I'm literally dropping these two off to run back to go pick her up to come home to drop them off then to go to school myself.

And that's my long day I don't get out till it's like 10 o'clock class.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Right now I'm studying AMP like anatomy, physiology and microbiology to try to get into the nursing program.

It's very competitive but I definitely don't wanna stop until I officially have a degree.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: I'm struggling a little bit and I'm wondering if I'm taking the right step.

I was for sure wanting to be in nursing, but these AMP classes are killing me.

So I'm like, maybe this isn't for me, but maybe healthcare is for me.

I did love microbiology, and looking at all of the bacteria, and trying to find out what this is, and maybe there's a step in a different direction that I need to go instead.

So answering any of my questions, I haven't found it yet.

I'm hoping I get there.

We have a lot of trip left, but I haven't found it yet.

But I'm super excited to interview Felicia Rice, the microbiologist.

I'm just excited for everything coming up.

I super wanna pick her brain in here, all the information that she has to give, and visit her lab, and see anything we're allowed to look at.

So I'm excited, because I feel like maybe part of my answer might be there.

>> Felicia: My name is Felicia Rice.

I have five children, and I work here at Mayo Clinic in the microbiology department.

So I grew up on the path to become a doctor, and I thought, I'm gonna do all these amazing things.

And then I had this baby, and I thought, what am I gonna do?

I was married, but it was just nothing was planned.

I mean, I was married for 12 years, and it just didn't work.

And so this ended up being kind of a field for me where I could still do medicine, but still raise my children at the same time.

I guess at first, I thought, what a huge failure that I'm not pursuing what I thought I really wanted to do.

And now I feel like this is right where I should be.

>> Gabby: And you get to do something that you love every day, which is totally worth it.

>> Felicia: To me it is, because I work a lot, and I feel like if I came here every day and I hated it, that would be- >> Gabby: Miserable.

>> Felicia: Miserable.

>> Gabby: Yeah, so I'm going back to school, and I'm trying nursing because I feel like that's a good job and good money.

But I'm not an extrovert, I work as a pharmacy tech right now, and I like being more in the back.

So I'm feeling like maybe there's a different pathway, and I took a microbiology class in community college, and I really enjoyed it, and I really loved it.

So I'm interested in how did you figure out the microbiology way was the correct way for you?

>> Felicia: I feel like I kind of loved that microbiology in college.

I had a great teacher.

If you went into micro, you are a generalist.

So you hit every, you do hematology, you do chemistry, you do blood bank.

There's a lot of different fields within this one.

Micro for me, what I liked the most about it was all the hands on.

I just kind of looked around in the medical field to see what can I do that still makes me happy and fulfills me.

And the thing about microbiology is that it's always changing all the time.

Every day, when we look at those cultures, there's something new to see, something interesting.

>> Gabby: Can you walk us through your typical day here, what you do?

>> Felicia: Sure, so in microbiology, we work closely with infectious disease.

We get specimens down from the hospital.

That all gets put on these little plates.

And then we read the plates.

And the cultures to me are the most fun because it's like a window into the puzzle of what's going on with this patient.

You help solve the problem of what's happening.

So in an hour, we can tell you if you've got influenza A, influenza B, coronavirus, and it keeps those viruses living until we can test it.

Anyway, this is what we do.

>> Maliaq: So when you think about deciding your educational and career paths, what was your thought process when you're incorporating your children in that?

>> Felicia: When my kids were really little, and I was divorced, I wouldn't recommend this.

Just, this is what my thought process was.

I didn't want my kids to have a real bumpy road.

And so I worked third shift, and then I'd raced home.

I'd relieve the babysitter, and then I'd take them to school, and then I'd go get them.

We do all our afternoon activities.

I'd sleep for a hot second, and then I'd go back to work, so that I can be with them when they were up.

It's that time of life when your kids are young for such a short time.

It's gonna make me teary.

Everything that they did, I didn't wanna miss it.

It was worth the deprivation of sleep, absolutely.

Again, I don't know that I'd recommend it, but I didn't wanna miss out on that stuff.

My kids are mixed, so there was that aspect, >> Gabby: My kids are mixed too.

So I related to her, even though I knew I was gonna like her because of the field.

I felt like wow, you know I have so many things in common with her.

We both have mixed children.

We both don't like the spotlight.

We're both a little introverted [LAUGH].

Seeing the lab, seeing how much more you can do behind the scenes.

I felt like this was the path that I'm gonna be going down, and kind of stepping away from the nursing more.

So it was really eye opening me to see her.

And I could be in the same spot in a couple of years.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: Well the drive to Las Vegas, I was asleep for most of it.

But I'm pretty excited about the interview with the geologist.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: So right now, I'm in a big transition period.

I work for an Internet company, and I work five days a week, but I also pick up over time.

But I'm not a desk woman.

I like dirt up under my nails.

I kinda wanna be a geology teacher.

I wanna teach people about crystals and stones, and just make them aware, because if they see how beautiful these things that grow out of our earth, maybe they might try to help and preserve it in the future.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: Right now, I kinda feel like I'm on the outside looking in.

I'm like, what, can't be a geologist?

That's nothing black people do.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: 2% percent of the geologists in the United States are black people or people of color.

And for it to be black women, I think it was like 1%.

We need some color up in there.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: Well, I'm excited to speak with Lauren, because she's a geologist and a single mother.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: And I wanna ask her questions about the work life balance, if I'm able to pursue this odd career.

And also be able to take care of my kids, and keep a roof over their head, and let's be stable.

My name is Kiera.

I'm 32 years old.

I'm on this road trip because basically, I wanna become a geologist.

So can you tell us a little bit about what you do?

>> Lauren: Yeah, my name is Lauren Birgenheier, and I'm a geology professor at University of Utah.

I'm 39 years old.

I have a daughter who is eight.

Her name is Elle.

I have my daughter about 60% of the time, and my ex-husband has her about 40% of the time.

I've been at University of Utah for 11 years now.

So I study sedimentary rocks.

So I look at shales, and sandstones, and limestones.

And I try and figure out what the ancient environment was like when they were deposited millions of years ago.

And so this is really important for understanding how climate might change in the future, and how that would impact the earth.

And I teach, and I train students, and I do research, so it's pretty fun.

>> Kiera: Did you have to go through any phases of hearing outside noises, people telling you what you should do, and what you shouldn't do since you were a single mother, and things like that?

>> Lauren: Yeah, definitely.

It's hard to know what to do, right?

I think people can give advice, and they come from a loving place.

But they don't really know either, right?

I went through a divorce about three years into my tenure track.

I definitely didn't know if I could be a single mom and keep working at that pace.

So for me that period was the hardest, but a lot of the way that I sort of worked through it, I mean, I go to therapy.

I make sure to make time to take care of myself.

And then I kind of choose carefully about what I'm gonna take on and what I'm not going to take on.

And it's actually a really fulfilling career.

There's a high job satisfaction with our career and it's a really good way to make a solid living for yourself without incurring a lot of educational debt.

It's not only fun, but it's pretty practical too.

>> Kiera: You can always have a job as long as the earth is here.

>> Lauren: Yeah.

>> Kiera: [LAUGH] >> Lauren: I think it'll be here.

>> Kiera: Do you feel that there are a lot of grants or scholarships for people who want to be in the field of geology?

>> Lauren: Yes, that is one of the real advantages of geology.

I think over a lot of other fields is there actually quite a lot of scholarships.

My graduate students, they don't pay tuition.

They get a stipend and then they get good jobs when they're finished.

And then there's also a lot of scholarships for underrepresented minorities in STEM.

>> Kiera: Yeah, I saw that in my research when I decided to become a geologist.

I was like, if we got more African American people in there, we can shine light and let future generations know, hey, y'all can believe in being a scientist and come from a low income family and be able to make it.

And that's kinda what I'm on the path to doing, so we can get some more color in there.

>> Lauren: Yeah, it's awesome.

There's some good role models out there that I can connect you with.

>> Kiera: That'd be totally awesome cuz that's my thing.

That's what I wanna do.

>> Lauren: So since you guys are coming through Vegas, I thought of Red Rock Canyon.

It's a national conservation area and it's got some phenomenal exposures of ancient sandstone.

>> Kiera: This is beautiful.

OMG, and you wonder why I want to look at rocks.

>> Maliaq: As soon as we got off the RV here, I was just amazed.

>> Lauren: There's all these angled lines all over the rocks, they're big, right?

>> Kiera: I love that I was actually out there with a geologist.

>> Lauren: So when you're a geologist, you have to walk fast behind your professor, just so you know [LAUGH].

>> Kiera: She pointed out stuff that I wouldn't have paid attention to.

>> Lauren: You always wanna make sure to have a scale in it, so that you can see how big it was.

So you can put your finger in it.

>> Kiera: It's like my finger's about this right here, so.

>> Lauren: Exactly.

>> Kiera: Okay.

>> [MUSIC] >> Kiera: I love the information she gave like signing up for programs, especially STEM programs for people of color and things like that.

It really gave me the motivation to keep going and then especially to know that I'm able to do this career.

And have time to spend with my case and not accumulate a lot of educational debt.

I mean you can't beat that.

>> Gabby: [LAUGH] >> Kiera: Dr. Lauren, I love you.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: So we're kind of hitting the last leg of our trip and we have one more drive, which I'm sure is gonna be great and sad.

I am ready to go home and see Michael, but I kinda don't want this to end.

>> [MUSIC] >> Elise: Hey, welcome back to another episode of Cool Mom's podcast.

Not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom >> [MUSIC] >> Elise: I'm Elise Peterson.

I live in Los Angeles now, I just moved here from New York.

And I was maybe like six or seven months pregnant in New York with some friends at like a gallery opening, doing the things we do in the city.

I looked around I was like, do you guys think I'm still gonna be cool after I have this baby like [LAUGH] because I was the first of my friends to have a kid.

And from there everyone sort of asked me questions like, how you gonna balance motherhood and your passions?

And just question I had absolutely no idea.

I had no answer to.

I was like, I don't know, I don't even have the kid yet.

>> Maliaq: [LAUGH] >> Gabby: Let me get through the birth first and then.

>> Elise: So I started to seek out the advice of women who I really admired.

That was the seed that planted and I was like, how do I share this information?

And then I was like, podcasts would be perfect.

So, I have a podcast called Cool Moms.

It's a podcast and also community-based platform.

All about mothers who prioritize their passions while still embracing the experience of motherhood.

>> Maliaq: Is there any words of wisdom for other single moms working towards their path?

>> Elise: For any mother who's experiencing motherhood, especially within the scope of being a single mom.

Knowing that there is a community of women that are waiting to connect with you, whether they're mothers or non mothers.

And to find your tribe, find your tribe, find your tribe, find your tribe, even if it's one person, because those are the people that will help fuel you when you can't fuel yourself.

>> [MUSIC] >> Gabby: Sarah Centrella was our last interview and she was an author and a life coach.

>> Kiera: She has a blog that's about creating dream boards basically manifesting the life that we want.

>> Sarah: I am Sarah Centrella, and I'm also a single mom.

I have three kids and I'm also an author and a life coach.

>> Gabby: Could you tell us how you became a single mom?

Everybody becomes a single mom different.

So would you share your story?

>> Sarah: Yeah, absolutely.

So I had married my high school sweetheart and our twins were a year old at the time that I found out he had been having an affair.

So yeah, it was a pretty dramatic kind of way to become a single mom.

And I think it just put me in such a vulnerable and terrifying truly place when I had to start over.

So, >> Gabby: I have gone through the same exact thing, literally divorced because of infidelity and what am I going to do?

Emotionally I was just like not present at all.

>> Sarah: Right.

>> Gabby: I was just wondering how you dealt with that.

>> Sarah: Yeah, I think I couldn't even really process kind of what had happened almost between him and I.

It was like, how do I survive?

How do I get these kids food?

I need diapers, I need formula.

What do I do?

And our thoughts are so powerful, they can absolutely create the reality, so I knew I had a choice.

I knew I could just let it bury me and I almost felt it.

I almost felt it like pulling me, just go, like just let it just like crush you, you know?

Or I could figure it out and that was really the only options I saw in that moment.

I was like, you better figure this out, figure it out.

>> Kiera: Did you have to go to any therapy or have support from your family or anything to help get you through that process?

>> Sarah: I really didn't.

I would have loved to have had therapy.

I think just in from the financial situation that I was in and kind of didn't have insurance and stuff like that.

But it's crazy, Oprah's show was on every day back then.

And so she was like my self help guru at the time, right?

And it was just something like basic that she had said where it was like you have control over your thoughts.

So I didn't even know what that meant, but I was like, well I probably should not be thinking about this all the time because this makes me feel terrible.

Okay, well what if I changed the subject?

In my head just like I would with a two year old and say, I wanna think about this instead because I'm not solving my money issues by focusing on them right now anyway, I'm just making it worse.

So I had no idea then but what I was doing was visualizing a different life and putting all of my focus on it.

Like what if that happened, wouldn't that be cool, like wouldn't that be great?

And you don't have to even stress about it beyond that, just allow yourself to think it cuz how many times are we shutting those thoughts down saying, that's not possible, so why bother?

Just let it be.

And then, you know what, I'm going to work and every day that I'm going to work, I'm hustling.

I'm hustling to change my life.

I'm hustling to give my kids a different life, and I learned so much.

And I just was like, okay, I learned that, I'm implementing it.

I learned that, I'm implementing it.

Then you start allowing, I call it the possibility of what if.

I went from food stamps and $5 to my name and total poverty to VP of sales with a six-figure income in a like five-year span, living an unrecognizable life.

So it pushed me to sit down and think, how did I do that?

And maybe I could teach other people to do it.

I was able to be like okay, this is really what I wanna do full time.

Then I finally quit my corporate job and just jumped all in.

>> Kiera: I think that is so cool because like me, I'm a single mother, I'm doing things on my own.

And I always have to constantly worry about bills cuz I've had lights get cut off, no food at times, didn't had a vehicle, had to walk in the rain and stuff with my kids.

And it's so hard to get out of that pattern of thinking like, hey I got this to pay, I got this to pay.

>> Sarah: I'm telling you, it is such a game changer.

And you know what's really interesting is I think that most people, especially in America, we're very conditioned to dream and figure out what it is that we want until 30.

If you think about it, right, the whole time your kids are growing up, what do you want to be when you grow up?

And then they either want to have a family or don't.

So kind of all that planning is happening and it like dead ends at 30.

We get to this place where we just stop dreaming.

But the more you think about it, the less scary it gets.

And the more kind of exciting it gets and the more you can kind of start to see a movie showing up in your head about what that moment is like.

And if you can do that, without judgment about yourself, without saying how or I can't afford it or I don't deserve it or any of that, just let it be, then it can start to work its magic.

So one of the questions that I would have when we were gonna go make our boards and kind of go look at our boards, is if we can kind of dig really deep, be like, what do I just love to do?

Not even thinking about it with the pressure of do I have to eventually make money at it or build a company with it or any of that stuff.

This process is helping us answer the question, what do we want for ourselves?

It's dreams that should be dramatically different than your current life, right?

Cuz if it looks like your current life, you're not dreaming big enough and you're not gonna get a change.

>> Maliaq: She's been so successful because she's honest, and she's not just saying, these things are gonna fix your life if you put it on a board.

She's like, no, you have to really think about what you're calling into your life, and be clear when you're trying to manifest the path for it.

She was talking about how sometimes we feel guilty wanting to have nicer things, or have certain goals that seem unattainable.

And like, I totally get that.

>> Sarah: Can I coach you a little bit on this, are you open to it?

Okay, so I love- >> Maliaq: And I like that she was able to provide specific things that I could do to make a plan or figure out what I want.

>> Sarah: All right, ladies, I'm excited for your future, and I want to see what you're gonna manifest.

>> Maliaq: It's the last day.

>> Gabby: today we're packing and cleaning and getting ready to go home.

>> Kiera: Make it fit.

>> Gabby: I always tell myself I'm gonna fold clothes, and then I'm thinking about the folding clothes, and I'm like, no, I don't want to do it.

>> Kiera: Arizona, it's this sweet and sour feeling, Nevada.

I need to weigh all my rocks.

Let's see, I got these from Rio Grande, this is sandstone.

Got these at Arizona, they're just rocks, these are regular rocks.

On the diagram Dr. Lauren drew for us, I don't even remember where I got these, but they were pretty neat.

That's what happens when you don't label your rocks, label your rocks!

>> Maliaq: It's been a long trip guys.

>> Kiera: Finito.

>> Maliaq: I'm gonna remember these connections and these people forever.

>> Barbara: Single moms are fighting for something more than for themselves.

They're fighting for their kids or for a better system for the people coming after them.

Just remember that you have a lot of sisters in the fight with you.

>> Maria-Theresa: It's like my tagline is, I'm a single mom, a writer, a lawyer, I am the queen of my queendom.

And all single moms, they are queens of their queendom.

>> Gabby: None of these women tore down other women.

They all were talking about inspiring other women around you and helping each other.

>> Elise: Sharing the stage with other women, what tools can we give each other?

How do we network, and how do we skill build?

>> Amy: To me, the most precious thing I have is time, whether it's time on earth, time with my kid.

What's the legacy you're gonna leave your kids?

What is that?

Think about that, what do you want them to remember you by?

>> Lauren: I feel like I've just had so much time with my daughter, that like she's my buddy.

And that's a really special bond that a lot of people don't necessarily get with their kids.

>> Kiera: Don't let past experiences keep you from living a wonderful and beautiful future.

>> Sarah: I think if I could boil it down to kind of one thing, it is that we absolutely have the power to change anything that we don't like about our life.

Like anything, whether it's finances, whether it's our relationships, whether it's our circumstances, it doesn't matter.

It's just a matter of learning the tool set, and being willing to believe that you can.

We have so much more power and strength than we ever give ourselves credit for.

>> Amy: The most important decisions you're gonna make in your life, the ones with risk, the ones with fear.

You tend to get like, ooh, should I, shouldn't I?

Lean into it.

The things that make you uncomfortable are the most important things to lean into, because it allows you to expand as a human and you'll find your path.

>> [MUSIC] >> Maliaq: I think my biggest takeaway is not to limit yourself, and not just be okay with just barely getting by.

>> Gabby: I feel like I should, in my own community, reach out to other moms and be like, I'm here for you and you're not alone and you're not a bad person because you're doing this by yourself.

>> Kiera: I'm just ready to be my kids' number one fan, I'm ready to be my own number one fan.

That's what I can take away from here.

I'm ready for the world.

>> [MUSIC] >> Speaker 15: Wondering what to do with your life?

Well we've been there, and we're here to help.

Our website has some awesome tools to help you find your path.

And you can check out all our documentaries, interviews and more.

Start exploring at roadtripnation.com.

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